Saturday, May 13, 2006

Mother's Day Blessings

This is the very first picture of Kate that we know of. We're not really sure how old she is in this photo, but there's no mistaking that sweet face. It is the one that the Chinese officials used to run a "finding ad" to search for her birthparents before making her available for adoption. (If you look closely, you can see the markings from the Chinese seal on the photo.) If no one comes forward for four months (if I'm remembering correctly), then the child is considered an orphan and has the potential of being adopted.

Mother's Day has made me think a lot about Kate's beginnings. So many changes in such a short life -- from birthmother to orphanage, from orphanage to foster care, from foster care to her forever family. Kids shouldn't have to endure so many changes, but I look forward to telling her how loved she's been by so many. So many "mothers" who have loved her and blessed her on her journey. So many who have said their sad farewells so that she might have better opportunities and a family to call her own.

And, of course Mother's Day makes me think of my sweet Kate and how she richly she has blessed our lives, but tonight I'm thinking about someone else and praying that somehow she knows her child is safe, loved, happy and healthy.

I wonder if Kate's birth mother looked at her finding ad and longed desperately to claim her. I wonder if she's thinking about her now, as the Chinese do celebrate Mother's Day (to what extent, I'm unsure). I wish she knew what Kate looks like now, so she could carry that impish smile in her heart. I wish she knew that her daughter, my daughter -- our daughter -- is smart, sweet, funny and full of life. I wish she knew that my family loves her.

It's heartbreaking to know that our greatest joy comes from someone else's grief and sadness. I believe that if Kate's birthmother had one wish, it would be to raise her beautiful little girl into a happy, healthy young woman. Barring that, I am certain that what she would want for Kate HaiYang is a mother who adores and delights in her, who would do anything for her (even walk away if it meant giving her a better chance in life), and who would teach her to be proud of who she is -- all of who she is.

The day will come when Kate has some hard questions I won't be able to answer, and my heart will break right along with her, but there's one thing I'm looking forward to telling her: You have two mothers who love you, one who has the honor of telling you in person and one who desperately wishes she could.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there -- whether your child is through biology, fostering, or adoption.

And a special Happy Mother's Day to those waiting (and waiting, and waiting and waiting) for their referral. My heart goes out to you as you suffer through this extended waiting period. It will happen, though. Let yourself believe.

And -- last, but certainly not least -- Happy Mother's Day to our moms. You've taught us how to live and how to love. Seeing you light up while playing with Kate has been extra special to us. We love you.


Mom said...

It is with extreme pleasure that I wish you a happy Mother's Day. Reading the beautiful words you wrote and knowing it was a true reflection of what is in your heart brought me to tears but also filled me with great pride.

I, too, often consider the fact that there is a grandma somewhere who is missing out on the pleasure I am experiencing with Kate. May God watch over her and let her know that Kate is very, very loved!

X's & O's to you all!

Caroline said...


I've said it before, but it bears repeating. You are an eloquent woman. I read so many blogs during the "wait" and yours is far more insightful than any other I've read.

Also, I am curious how you came across that picture. It clearly looks like a precious baby Kate photo.

Happy Late Mother's Day,

LID 1/23/06