Friday, July 29, 2005

Match Day for the Group Ahead of Us!

Yesterday was "referral day" for families whose dossiers were logged into China between December 24st and January 27th. On referral day, families get THE CALL where they find out who their daughter (or son, once in a while) is, and get a picture of her via email. The agency then sends a Fed Ex package with more information, paperwork to sign (to officially accept their referral) and the next wait begins: The wait for travel dates. It was so exciting to read about all the new babies (on our yahoo group of families with January / February log-in dates).

We predict that we will be in the next batch, as our log-in date is February 26th. Melissa is so glad to be starting back at work, as she will have slightly less time to obsess over the whole thing!

Below is a poem that I (Melissa) wrote just before the referrals started pouring in. I wanted to capture my honest feelings, which include excitement and doubt -- which I suspect every parent-to-be experiences....

"Referral Day"

It is referral time for you, dear friends
Who have been hoping,
for this day to arrive.

It is referral time for you, dear friends
Who have been talking about,
dreaming of,
and even fearing a bit,
this day of days, of the exact moment when a single phone call
makes you a parent.

And I wonder if you wonder...
...will my heart recognize her immediately or will she seem a stranger?
...will I know I got the most beautiful baby or will I believe that just maybe we've been mismatched?
...will I love her with such abandon that I cannot fathom being good enough or will I just panic because I feel no maternal instinct kicking in?

Surely, this is the day where the paper pregnancy and the biological pregnancy become one.
Surely, this is the day where contradictions breathe under your very skin.
Desperately longing for what the future brings, but
Hesitating --
Waiting to just put it all on hold, to catch your breath.

For you know that life is about to become a "Before & After" affair:
Before being a parent and
After knowing your life is so much about someone else.

And you want the After
And you're rejoicing that it's just about here,
But still --
You just want to catch your breath
To prepare yourself for the irrevocable
that are about to barrel through your well-ordered world.

But life is like a toddler: There's no standing still.

And the truth be told, you wouldn't want that anyway.
You can live through your contradictions,
mostly with great joy, great success and a great sense of humor,
Knowing that your child will be doing the same.

Your child,
who you will meet


The Lucky Ones

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